the light came in quickly this morning, speckling my walls and pulling my eyelids open in an instant. i can feel my thoughts climbing down my hair, crawling across my back, and scurrying back under the bedsheets to sleep with my dreams that left me upon the sound of waking. i felt you flickering on the backs of my eyelids just before i woke up shivering from the emptiness i sleep with in my bed. i saw you in the reflection of my bottle, your eyes tiptoeing across my hair softly, quietly, trying not to wake my sleep-drunk body so i could continue to sink into numbness while you studied my skin, trying to get behind my eyes to my skull and absorb all of me that you can. but that picture on the wall giggles in the reflection of your eyes, and you're trying to remain still. the air is dry this morning, and it drips down your cheeks leavingno stains or trails of supporting evidence. you'll turn back over and engulf me in a blink. i could feel it when i woke, something in the walls pulling me out of bed and setting me down on the floor before the bricks would start to whisper and get the wrong idea. it was before now that i ate blindly from a box of apathy thay my body always rejected, when i would have rather drank from all the smoke hanging in the air around my head. i found myself embracing hints of jealousy in time and cast aside all envious discord i found in fear. goodnight, enjoy the spill.