silence spills across a page
listless like beauty
and solemn like the thick stifling heat in this room.
your voice is heavy
tomorrow fills yesterday with regret and
.i'm sorry.
let me take a few more hours
of self medication
before you drown yourself.
censorship is dark and brooding
(i know you'll read this and think it's about you)
it is.
all of it.
my silence is salted and lost
-give me a few more days-
before you drown yourself with prioritized confusion
and i justify my irrationality that i convinced myself i had
i'm full with it
everything
plane tickets and words lost in a drunken gargle
to the way it feels to wake up
7:30 on a sunday morning
after an hour of sleep and a fat lip
(at least that's what i told you)
so tomorrow comes and i'm pensive
adrift and disoriented
not knowing what to say the the myriad hearts i am always tending
like paper dolls
i don't know what to tell you
except that time is of the essence and the essence preceeds me
i can't be here long
so i think i might just float away for a while
and lose myself in the knot
you left in my throat.

i am left wayward
as you told me you remembered just to please me
just to leave me disillusioned and silent.