it stings
long and hard;
beautiful loss of words,
lifeless, speechless sorrow
trapped in the sinews of my heartache.
i prayed tonight for the first time in a long time.
i mourn as though i'm bound and bleeding.
we all seem to be stuck wandering
these streets full of loss-ridden premonitions
dueling with the grey hours as they
pass calmly through this
lost october day.
just between us;
it was muddied with tears
and hard to repair.
my voice still echoes in your head, i'm sure;
i'll say it all again as we sink
and accept things as they come,
grabbing on to God as we slide down
the slope of this snow covered embankment.
this distance is shrinking
as time passes
and we are left to mourn
in passing
beneath your brother's shadow.
and as it all fades into blessings
and flowers,
i'll still tell you
shame.
shame on you.

i can't walk this center aisle.

7.17.86.justin andrew nicholson.10.1.05
god bless.