slow sunken record of tragedies
too innumerable to
face; we
swallow our heels behind
footsteps that are
no longer ours. i'll know
when i get there
she
said
words splayed about her
mouth.
exposing some long-passed
uncertainty
(passed and
surpassed and
exposed_
from somewhere, a bundle of
nerves tangled
confusing a heartbeat made of sand
(v-tach or
v-fib_
cross-stitch of cells exploding into
interweave of
waterways
blood ways. she
knew when she arrived, it would
be broken hearted and radioactive.
she knew that her arrival
began with "H" and
would watch her wade through
litter and
guilt and
she would be waiting for
eternity
never experiencing return
(not coming or
going_
there are strange
tears,
stench of liquor, and
knowing the
concrete of two
years and improbable
escape.
she struggles through
means;
waiting on eternity for
arrival,
praying for regular heartbeats,
safety in pap, your
words
(soft like
memory_
spread jelly-thin
begging for birds, not fear;
comfort, not home;
not grey.
exodus of sanity
leaving the
body
down the path that your
fingertips left
last time we touched-
and the only way to return is a
vehicle (memory)
makes the means harder
to bear than
eternity in waiting.
she spoke in fractured heartbeats,
a cigarette breathing in left-
i know. i'll never
come
near_