i can't decide.
those words slipped so easily,
so softly through my lips
i couldn't stop them,
spilling onto your pillow,
staining my hair,
and left to linger in the quiet
that swallowed the night.
its simple
and taken so long;
echoing through your head
mercilessly,
and it frightens you
but you're too strong to run away.
i want so bad
to keep you here,
home with me,
because time slips away too quickly,
and before i realize
you're not there to hold
anymore.
the emptiness in my bed
is saddening
and hard to fill.
you're impossible to replace
as i've realized
through these four years that we leave
and return and break
and create.
beautiful together,
we breathe friction from the moonlight
that glows silent on your skin
pouring from the window
above the evening.
i'd tell you everything,
but lay frightened
for you of my letters
and the fear they compose
in you.
but every minute passes
leaving me still
and pondering
the worth of the beauty of fear;
i only wish you'd tell me.
these months pour down like rain
to pass empty until the spring falls.
i'll cry for you if you leave me
alone in this place
because i know
and you know
that it is so much
lonlier living in nothing.
you'll think too hard
and run
from the space in the room
that's full
with words
that soaked into your lips when you
kissed mine;
i smeared it all over your shoulders,
so i'll wait
and let it dry
hoping that you'll let it drip
into your pores,
to fill you
so you might share the rest with me.
but i'll wait
for your thoughts to permeate your fear
and dissolve it.
i think i'll never fall elsewhere again.
but i'll just wait as
time grows thin
because we're not
just
children
anymore.