tears, laughter, and
two pounds a day

(i've always wondered where you come from
it's so far away
far inside of me)

sometimes you wonder how things will start
but i am beginning to wonder
where they will take an end

love, lust, loss;
hear, heal, hurt;
forever, forget, for now-

for when you return
i will be more than a coveted personality
but a coveted body
in your eyes
like i have always wanted to be

careless, curious, and callous;

determined;
untouchable
___________________________________

i never wanted to be a part of your dirty schemes
filthy and tainted
covered from head to toe
faltering, followed
its time to be gone
time to stop wasting time
as it flies by
(on butterfly wings
dancing about the sky)
reaching out
with soiled hands
grappling, groping,
to grasp the freedom
on which it flies

your name is only uttered in evil pretense
and is ugly to my ears

you picked me up and
spun
me
around
and we fell down together
laughing
in the doorway
on strips of your torn denim seams
that i stuck in your back pocket
and you left on the countertop when you walked out the door.