something on the inside breaks through
tugging at the part of me where heart connects to brain stem.
the sunshine twists the cold in the air
to the crevace of a fingernail;
the drip and follow staining the shape
that is the perfect curvature of my red defiance
or perhaps it is the discomfort
of you booming down the hallways
between the spearation of our minds
still on the same plane
but out of reach of tangible reality
brushing past the fingertips of idyllic escapism
where you become more than the scent stained on my skin
but the discomfort that crashes in my veins
pumping awkwardly through an irregular heartbeat
tripping on strands of disillusion
until you come down
only to realize that you're still wading knee deep in the reality that you left
but now hours behind in the moments that passed while you were gone
once more becoming the sobering comfortable taste
that is the sweet warmth of the coffee passing over my lips
putting any preoccupations on hold
until you return to lost
and take flight again

what if i never wanted to leave? what would you do then? you shrugged. i think you're stepping on the string that could unravel my whole being, but you would never realize that you're stripping me like the skin off a grape; slowly peeling off everything protecting the insides, all my insides, everything you never knew of me: exposed.but i suppose it was that time.
i wish you knew what it felt like to be stretched across time and loved thin, burning all three ends of the candle until the flames meet and suffocate themselves. you never realized that i was already burning and that i was sinking in the sand of the day in that place that i found where essence preceeds nonexistance and time is just our of reach of space. have you been there yet? i found it for you and would take you there if i could find my way through the darkness that is a blank stare, your only reaction that is visible through the thin layer of glass that covers your eyes. don't worry about it. i'll just keep smiling until it becomes real.

it sinks in and then you fall. the soothing sound of frogs and bubbles sings that you are being beckoned by a past that you have finally learned to make friends with; you have finally accepted that the time is not right. could you have been mistaken? you wonder as you comply to more time spent, this time none of your instigation, but that from the other end. you have complied, now you sit and wait as thoughts rush through veins recovering from what you had consumed the night before, though in simple, willful moderation. you wonder what the other half of your soul might think, if it pains him or if its just fine, perhaps you have just been too distant, too detached over the past few days as you reveled in dreams reminding you how wonderful it all is or how your pieces finally fit together just right at the right time, eventhough in its own way its wrong because its simply too short, and the frogs rise again. you flinch and float face down in this beautiful distraction, welcoming it with open eyes and then you wonder later what you're waiting for or why you're nervous about the past that you have learned to make friends with when it steps back into your life once again.
you take a deep breath and calm yourself as you feel your blood slow.